Stress Less

I'm not stressed. Really, I'm not.

My middle Dear Son and I were busy Sunday afternoon lying to each other. He's trying to get an assistantship while pursuing his doctorate while he is teaching at the University of Memphis trying to finish his master's. No stress there.

And I am finishing my second book while the first one, "Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone," is being readied to hit bookstore shelves in a few months. And that's not my day job. There, the duties are stacked a little higher than they were a month ago, or two months ago. I love the job. There's just more to love now.

OK, we're both stressing. But I am working on that. Here are my tips:

• Admit that you are too blessed to be stressed. By the way, all the things he and I are stressing about are blessings. Good things can still stress you out.
• Just be. This morning, before walking out the door but after writing for about an hour, I did the corpse pose for a few minutes. Which is yoga talk for laying down. I just breathed for a while. Try it sometime.
• Take good care of yourself. Stressful times can make you eat the worst things. We do still get takeout pizza some nights, but I try to serve it up with a salad of leafy greens, and I brought fruit with me to work. And hydrate.
• Move. At least a little. I am starting my days these days with jumping jacks, pushups and squats. If I don't find time to walk or run, at least I did those.
• Ditch the all-or-nothing mentality. I have been so guilty of wanting to be gung-ho on something only to stumble a little and give the whole thing up. Fifty jacks is not the same as a five-mile run, but at least it is something. I didn't hit my writing goal, but I progressed and I feel good about what I did write.
• And as I told the Dear Son, this has come to pass. These challenges did not come to stay. He will know what his next move is within the next couple of months, most likely, and by then, my first book, "Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone," will be on shelves. 
• Make time for those you love. This weekend, I had wanted to write about 3,000 words. I only got in about half that many, but I enjoyed time with family and friends. Which keeps me relaxed. Which makes me ...
• More productive. According to the book I am reading right now, "Psycho Cybernetics 2000," which like so many books of the 1990s contains "2000" in the title, you are your most productive in a relaxed state. Stress makes your mind and body tense up.

Now go take a deep breath, relax and be awesome!

It's getting real!

You will only get to see the first galley of your first book for the first time once in your life.

That's what my publisher Jim Dickerson told me yesterday when he let me look this over. It's the galley for "Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone," and it's heading to trade publications in hopes they'll review it.

When I started this, I really had no idea what writing a book would feel like. I figured it might be awesome.

And it is. Although it is a little terrifying. But in a good, getting out of my comfort zone way.

At first, I was so into the process of creating "Because I
Said So" that I didn't even think about what it would be like to have a book on the shelves. I didn't wonder if I had a book in me, but writing wasn't always easy. It involved a lot of early mornings fueled by a lot of coffee.

By the way, I did run the whole "terrified" thing past both Jim and my friend and colleague Marshall Ramsey. They both said, "Of course you are. That's normal."

Anyhow, when you write on a regular basis and work steadily at something, sometimes it turns into a book. This started as an idea in June, so to see this six months later makes me want to jump up and down!

"Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone" will be out on store shelves and Amazon.com in April.

Editing's in the mail

OK, I realize that sounds just like what I tell creditors, only about checks, but I read the first edit of "Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone," and I have a few observations after putting the revisions in the mail.

One is that Jim, my publisher, is a really good editor. He saved me from myself a few times. Which is what good editors do.

Second is that having a book, while a blessing, is a little on the scary side for me. It is out of my comfort zone, which is a good thing. Staying in your comfort zone means you are not growing. I have my first signing scheduled, which is fun and terrifying at the same time.

Third, I haven't read through this book since last month, and before then, October. I still really like it. I hope others do, too.

And fourth, I need to get busy on the second book. I got out my handy dandy 2014 planner and figured out how much I need to get done each week to beat my deadline. It's doable.

2014 is going to be a great year. A really busy one, one that will be a little cray-cray at times, but a year that's got plenty of excitement and joy and laughter in store! Many thanks to all who supported my dreams this year before I wrote the first word, and wishing you all a blessed 2014!

Editing party!

This weekend, there's going to be a big party. Two guests.

Me and the first book. It's an editing party. It may go for days.

"Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone" is going to be read through again. My publisher, Jim Dickerson of Sartoris Literary Group, has gone through and worked his magic. I've had that version a few days, but things have been busy at the newspaper, so I pushed the editing party to the weekend, when I am not taking away from other projects and not letting other projects take away from this.

I'm getting up early, making coffee and plan to be all over it.

Sometimes you have to plan the work out like that. Block off the time. Check.

Now to just make it happen.

Editing away!

My publisher, Jim Dickerson of Sartoris Literary Group, just got me a copy of my first book to look over. He's edited it once and gave it a big thumbs up, so I am, in Southern-speak, tickled! Woohoo!

"Because I Said So: Life in The Mom Zone" will be released in April.

I am going to have a hard time not jumping up and down in the newsroom today. Happiness!

And a big thank you to Jim and all those who have been an encouragement to me since I started on this journey back in the summer. Keep on encouraging, because I'm gonna need it, and know that I thank God for you every morning.

And I'm going to have to get to work on the editing of this one and the writing of the second book. It's a lot to do, but it feels more like playing than working!

How to do it all

I had a friend ask me how I do the stuff I do.

My answer is, "Heck if I know."

Number one is that I don't get everything done that I want to get done. If I did, that second book would be finished by now. I'm a good 6,000 words behind where I would like to be.

Number two is that I think the important stuff always gets done. Because it is important.

The rest of the stuff we fit in. It's like the oft-told management story of the glass jar, the rocks, the pebbles and the sand. The way to fit everything in is to take care of the big rocks, the important stuff, first. Those can be your family, job, health. Whatever you want them to be. Then you put in the pebbles. Those can be a committee meeting at church or a PTA meeting. Whatever is kind of important but not important enough to be a big rock.Then there's the sand. It just sort of fits in around the nooks and crannies of the other stuff. Sand might represent watching TV alone -- not super important to me.

One way to fit in big rocks is to put them in first. I am happy to say that, although holiday stuff and time with those I love took up a lot of my writing time this weekend, I was up and writing about 6 a.m. today. I need to put that big rock in earlier tomorrow. My hope is to log in 25,000 words before Jan. 1. Can you tell I studied project management in grad school?

That's a lot of rocks, though, so here is the last tip until I think of some more. It is to consistently put the rocks in the jar. Every day. I totally need to work on this.

One of my favorite books on getting it all done is "First Things First," by Stephen Covey. I read it in my early 30s when I was working hard, caring for aging parents and young children and generally wearing myself out. It was a game changer for me.

Progress bit by bit is still progress

This week we got our Christmas decor up a step at a time.

Lights last night, tree two days ago and ditto the stockings. I still have to put out the holiday placemats, but that's coming.

Same with the second book. I have had schedule changes to deal with, so I have been getting up early on a more regular basis to write, even if it is less than 30 minutes. A hundred words here, 200 there. Progress is progress. I learned while finishing a master's degree while working full time and being a single parent that you have to take your spare minutes seriously. Fit in work when you can.

So right now, I am at 17,000 words and, although I am not on my original work schedule for the second book (can you tell that my master's was in project management?), I am happy about where it is.

The first book is in the proofing stage. And I have a meeting with my publisher, Jim Dickerson of Sartoris Literary Group, today.

So step by step. And about that Ryan Gosling meme, I don't get writer's block often or for very long. Usually I sit down and within 10 or 15 minutes the words flow and I write for a while. Then I don't want to get up except that by then it is usually nearing 7 a.m. and kids have to go to school and I have to go to the newspaper gig.

I think most of success is just showing up. Even if it is for 30-45 minutes at a time.